Friday, October 1, 2010


My life is still not that interesting, except for the fact that I suck at my job. I got home after my 8 hours of answering phones and wondering if the best years of my life are all that they're cracked up to be. As I drifted off while making my short commute from the office, I thought that perhaps I am making a journey that many people that I have had the pleasure (or other less favorable experience) of meeting in my life have also made.

Then I began to wonder, why the fuck am I so stupid and can't get the simple shit down? Do I need more sleep? Maybe I should cut down on caffeine or something. I blame my pontificating on a future that hasn't happened and my inability to live in the here and now at times. Finally, I was thinking about how emo I was, and decided that I need to do whatever it takes to make my own way in the world. Work has to be done effectively, not quickly. I am not one of those people who can catch on by watching someone do something, also the cripplingly low self-esteem and confidence level I have doesn't help things either.

So, it's decided! I will go out and say "Fuck you world! You will not break me!" I've been massively depressed before and let me tell you that it's not fun. Nothing seems like it's going right at all and everyone around you can't do anything to rouse you from this somber environment you shroud yourself in... in other words, it sucks. FUCK YOU WORLD! I WILL OWN YOU!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Update: I'm still here

So, I keep forgetting the password for my blog, maybe because I have so many accounts and other things that I have to remember that I have to change my password to the blog everytime I say to myself "Hey, you know what I should do? Write something on the blog!" Maybe that makes my accounts less likely to be hacked, somehow I doubt that. But, I can assuage myself with the thought of my forgetfulness is somehow helpful in the inter-world. So, for about the fourth or fifth time, I have changed the password, and this time I have stored it. Expect more frequent and hopefully more exciting updates!

My social life isn't that exciting, I usually just hang out around my town and see a couple of friends that I have known since before high school, but I make some trips to Virginia (exotic, I know!) to see the former college roommate or a friend of my time in Egypt. I have picked up a really expensive addiction to Carmen's Italian Ice. I am a particular fan of their Black Raspberry, Mango and Melonball, their Cherry is also very good. Other than that, I am still trying to make life plans! It feels like everyone else has their shit together except me, at least now I am working, which makes my parents a little less angry with our family situation.

I am making plans for some of the spoils from this job, like an international getaway of some sort. My friend Jenny is in Ireland and she is totally cool with people coming to visit her, I know that when I was living overseas, I would have loved for some of my friends from back home to come and visit. It was a lot different for me because my friends were in college and Egypt, in the minds of some is just a giant Muslim terrorist training camp. But, it'll be interesting to be on the other side of that experience. Plus, a lot of people have been telling me about how awesome Ireland is, and I think my parents will be happy that I have chosen to travel to a place that is not extremely dangerous or is very close to a war zone.

I do have a question for the internets: Can you smuggle cookies onto the airplane? Or, more appropriately, am I allowed to bring cookies onto an airplane? There is a reason that I am asking, I plan on taking a trip (the first one in quite some time) to Ireland after Christmas and would like to talk the haul of cookies that I make every year. I don't think that baked goods would be a national security matter, but people have gotten a little crazy about brown people on planes with bags.... so I am not planning an interrogation while traveling overseas.

Well, I have nothing else really... sorry for the lameness of this post! I promise for more awesome in the future when my life gets more exciting or more things happen.


Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Hot or Not?

I was reading one of my favorite blogs today, Gawker, and on the top of the main page, there was a link to some video made by the Minnesota GOP. First, I should have stopped right there because when I saw a poorly photo-shopped picture of Rosie O'Donnell's head of Khalid Sheikh Mohammed's body, it wasn't going to be anything to be taken very seriously. I was wrong! The point being made by the video was deadly serious, whether or not American politics come down to voting for the attractive person or the intelligent person (not that they are mutually exclusive)

The first message given in the video was "America: vote Republican because our women are hotter" You have to be fucking kidding me! I don't care about how hot Republicans may or may not be because voting based on personal appearance stopped happening when people stopped being teenagers, or at least that's what I thought. Listen, I get that the GOP is in the political wilderness after a trouncing in 2008, but this route that you're going isn't growing the base.

Let's get one thing straight, any partisan shill who is attractive is still a shill and their long legs, double D's or fluttering eyelashes won't block all that bullshit coming out of their mouth. Any network that calls on a pundit who relies on their good looks, limited analysis and certain talking points should be wary of their intentions because the job of a pundit is different than that of a scholar or journalist. Pundits are called to explain events through the lens of their political affiliations and/or organizational associations and they are not held to an obligation of impartiality. Time and time again, they have proven that they know so little about so much. This is not solely a Republican problem, but it seems that the GOP calls on their bench of pundits more often!
Should I watch Megyn Kelly or Fox and Friends rather than Rachel Maddow because Rachel Maddow is not conventionally "pretty"? Fuck no! The factual errors and added commentary which doesn't add to informing their viewers makes the show almost unbearable to watch. News shows should inform people about issues that are very dense and complex, not be about some icy blond that barely understands what she's reading off the teleprompter.

Back to the ad, this ad is a bunch of bullshit! Calling people that you can't attack on legitimate issues ugly is fucking childish and shows that you shouldn't be allowed to have any responsibility until you start acting like adults. Also, for a party that adheres strongly to the ideology of family values, there is quite a bit of objectification of women. The ad doesn't talk about the various qualifications of the women featured, like Michelle Malkin who is a graduate of Oberlin or Ann Coulter who has a law degree from the University of Michigan, instead, the Minnesota GOP has shown that they don't really give a shit about what these bitches have to say! They're hot and that's all that matters!

One last note about the use of an ad populum attack, having a popular TV show is nice, but if you keep pandering to visceral reactions of unstable, fearful or ignorant people, then it doesn't make you right, it makes you irresponsible. In these uncertain political and economic times, establishing straw man arguments and stoking fear over immigrants, people of color, and greater uncertainty in the future doesn't help anyone, except you and your fucking meaningless ratings. SUCK ME BILL O'REILLY!

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Gays are Icky?

So, I want everyone to remember the name Ike Skelton (D-MO) The representative of the 4th Congressional District in Missouri is the Chairman of the House Armed Services Committee and was one of the most important voices in the discussion regarding the crafting of DADT (Don't Ask Don't Tell) in 1997, which disallows open homosexual behavior among all ranks in the United States military. This man, Ike, told reporters yesterday that he opposes the overturning of DADT because the topic of homosexuality is not "family-friendly"

I don't even know where to begin on that! His exact words to the press were:

"What do mommies and daddies say to their 7-year-old child?" Skelton asked journalists at a media breakfast. "My biggest concerns are the family."

This ignorance about how homosexuals interact with straight society is confounding. His biggest concern is the family defined within a socially conservative framework, and it consists of one (presumably) heterosexual male and one (presumably) heterosexual female parent along with any number of children ranging from 1 to ∞. The biggest disservice to our families is to not discuss sexuality and sexual orientation in a frank and serious manner. The world is full of people who are different than one another, and to be able to function in that world, we have to be aware of difference amongst ourselves. Families have homosexual members and that will not change in the forseeable future, ignoring their identity can be devastating. To deem the topic of homosexuality unfit for discussion because of your sensitivities is not helping anyone, and insults the intelligence of everyone around you.

Ike Skelton, you're a grown man. I didn't think that you are willing to accept the dismissal of qualified Soldiers, Airmen, Marines, and Sailors so that our military can be cleansed of homosexual elements. But, you are. Get over yourself, and don't let other people suffer because you are too afraid that you might catch the gay.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Beauty Pageants

So, I was Facebook surfing, as you do, and came upon an interesting fact, there is a pageant known as "Miss Beautiful Morals" in Saudi Arabia. I was intrigues, to say the least. I commented to my friend who brought it up on her comment feed that in a deeply religious society, the contestants would be judged on their piety. Instantly, I looked up this phenomenon, and the description is as follows:

"The idea of the pageant is to measure the contestants' commitment to Islamic morals... It's an alternative to the calls for decadence in the other beauty contests that only take into account a woman's body and looks," said pageant founder Khadra al-Mubarak.

Decadence is not the first word that comes to mind when I see beauty pageant contestants outside the Islamic sphere of influence. From what I have seen of Miss Universe or Miss America pageants, I see women who, for one reason or another, are on a stage wearing a smile (and not much else) They are asked questions, asked to do stupid human tricks, and then one is crowned as top dog. I do find it interesting that from the Saudi perspective, Western beauty pageant contestants are being oppressed, not being told to be authentic, or called to embellish themselves in some way. The Great Satan may be guilty of a great many things, but I declare that we are not guilty of having our beauty pageant contestants being decadent. Sure, some choose to get plastic surgery, but how is that being decadent? Also, when the contestants are being asked questions, those are meditations on the human condition, they're not fluff!

But, if people want to have their alternate pageant, have at it Hoss!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010


I have a love-hate relationship with Facebook. I have to be on it because people want me to go to events, keep in contact with them, and socialize without any actual human interaction. It is the bane of my existence! Social networking sites are seeping into all facets of life, and it is now acceptable for people in my generation to think that texting, Tweeting, updating your Facebook status while using the toilet, having sex, giving birth, or other private activities.

I am by no means off the grid, I have a blog, a Twitter account, and a Facebook page. But, I have yet to check my phone while being intimate, live-blog a birth while urging someone to continue with their Lamaze breathing, or Tweet while on the toilet. When I deactivated my Facebook page, I felt like I had been severed from my group of friends and was a pariah. But, it felt GREAT! I wasn't constantly checking my page, and writing inane messages to people that I hardly talk to. My social life was thoroughly mine again, I was in control.

One day, I hope to ween myself of Facebook once again. I lasted one year off of the grid last time I shut it down, and it was a piece of cake.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Oil Spills, Immigration, and other stuff

So, within the last three weeks, there has been possibly the worst environmental disaster the US has ever seen, and a new draconian law has been signed by Arizona's governor to try to stem the tide of illegal immigrants coming across their border with Mexico. That's why the Chinese think that the phrase "May you live in interesting times" is a curse.

I find it odd that not even a month after President Obama lifted the ban of off-shore drilling, a rig exploded. I don't think that he was in any way responsible, but after touting their advanced technology and safety, eleven people die and a ton of oil leaks out into the Gulf of Mexico. It sucks, but it goes without saying that getting non-renewable sources of energy has risks. BP, the company that was leasing the rig said that they would pay for the cleanup, but they haven't even contained the oil. People's lives are being put in jeopardy because of the inaction and inability of BP, let's just hope they don't try to spin the American people.

As for the immigration bill, I find it funny that lawmakers that are elected to the House and the Senate are quick to blame the federal government, which they are a part of of neglecting the responsibility that Federal officials have of securing the borders. That must mean that they are dropping the ball, and that political expediency would make you consider some reform. So, the bill basically says that a police officer is obliged to pull over anyone if the officer suspects them to be an illegal immigrant. Also, if a legal immigrant or a citizen is pulled over and not able to prove their status, they face six months in prison and a $1000 fine. I have read the bill, and it specifically says:


Apparently, facing the problems that border states are facing and offering greater federal assistance makes too much sense, and they're going to bitch about how this is a bad time because of one reason or another. Next time I go to Yuma, I will make sure to bring all of my pieces of identification because there is a chance that some police officer may pull me over because I look like an illegal immigrant.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Weird Happenings

I bet that the Icelandic volcano eruption is one of the signs of the end of days. I mean, a volcano that is stopping air traffic over most of Europe, and causing other major delays is a sign that sit is going down. Nobody can pronounce the name of the volcano, except if you're from Iceland and the last time it erupted, it lasted for a year.

No good can come of this. Signals have been sent by the eruption that the Earth has had enough, and will try to rid people off its surface.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Late Night Thoughts

So, I have been out of school for about four months now, and I have no job prospects. I am not very interested in becoming a Foreign Service Officer because of the difficulty of the exam. All of the non-profits that I am interested in working at are either unpaid positions, paid positions without any benefits, or I would have to move outside of the area. I have to do something that takes up time. If not, I may just sulk even more about having nothing to do, and then it's just a giant cycle. The gym is relaxing, but I can't find a buddy which makes things more fun. My room is kind of bland, I lack a TV, radio, but I do have a laptop.

This sucks. I am not the only one, so I guess that is some consolation to me.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010


So, I saw this video on the news where there American pilots surveying Baghdad, and then saw a group of Iraqis who were supposedly carrying weapons. After they had been visible to the pilots, and it was confirmed by their superiors that they could fire, they did so and killed all eight people that were present. Little did they know, that two of the people that they killed was a Reuters reporter and his driver. Usually when you are doing reporting, you don't carry weapons, and I don't see how a camera could be mistaken for an RPG, since an RPG is over a meter long. Wikileaks is a site that challenges the kingmakers to be held accountable for actions that they may like to forget. It's a type of investigative journalism that would make Emma Goldman proud. Big ups for Julian Assanges who heads it.

OK, so I am a supporter of the US military. I don't want any sort of comment on how I don't support the troops because it's simply not the case, I do. But, this was upsetting. War has clouded their judgment, which puts Iraqis who are not involved in the insurgency in danger. Daily life does not slow down in an occupation, which is why civilian casualties are so high. There is no blame to be assigned when there is unacceptable collateral damage except on the GI. Let me make myself clear, once again, that I do support the person who fights the war, but the situation that they are put in because of war is what I object to. I am upset to see that this war has traumatized so many, and caused so much damage to bodies and to buildings.

The war does not end when a person comes back home. When the foreign troops leave, there is no clean slate where you can write a new history with. I implore people to help anyone that they know of who has been to Iraq or Afghanistan, if you think that there is a problem.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Pope Benedict XVI: Stop Mentioning the Jews

Sweet Jesus!

Haven't they suffered enough? First, it was being thrown out of their homeland. Then, the Egyptians. Then, it was the Exodus. Then, the Romans. Then, it was pogroms and other draconian measures that segregated Jews from the societies that they were an integral part of. They were launched by (among others) the Spanish, Portuguese, Russians, French, Ottomans, Italians, and Germans. Then, the Holocaust, the formation of the State of Israel, and its battles with its neighbors to establish itself within the neighborhood of the Middle East. Now, it's you, the Pope.

Let's get one thing straight, Josef Ratzinger: Giving tacit approval to priests who are guilty of lewd acts with many children, to continue with their jobs and not defrocking them, and allowing these men to commit more crimes is not similar to the systematic execution of more than eighty percent of European Jewry. No matter how you try to spin it, or how long you think about it. It won't happen.

The Nazis were excoriated because of their violations of human rights towards Jews, Gypsies, ethnic Poles, political and religious opponents, homosexuals, Jehovah's Witnesses, Soviet civilians and POW's, and disabled people. In fact, there was a document called the Geneva Convention formed in the aftermath of World War 2 to establish global standards for humanitarian treatment of the victims of war because it had been found that the Nazis did not treat their victims as human beings. For all time, their political organization will be associated with the slaughter of 11-17 million people, a psychotic totalitarian, and a cult of personality surrounding the political elite which made it possible for few citizens to object to their murderous rampage through Europe.

The Church is being excoriated because of the Vatican obfuscated its involvement and acceptance (Silence is consent) in the cover-up of certain priest's pedophilia. Betraying the dogma is not the same as following the perverted system that justifies the torture and mutilation of others based on social, religious or political differences that the Nazis subscribed to. The actions of the Catholic priests should have consequences, if only because when any ordinary person acts in a reprehensible manner, they are held to account.

I am biased though. I don't believe that the Vatican is the bella figura, nor do I believe that priests have a mark on their soul that excludes them from man's accountability. What I think is that because of their dual role as spiritual adviser and man, they have a special responsibility not to abuse their power, which comes in the form of trust, and if that is not possible, they do not belong in that capacity.

Don't cry foul on others, and then conveniently forget what you may have done wrong in the past. It has a way of coming back to bite you on the ass.


I am a full member of society now. Having completed the necessary milestones accorded to people my age by Western society, I am now expected to act like everyone else. Unfortunately, I have been sidelined by a recession. Not, just any recession, which is signaled by at least two consecutive quarters of negative economic growth, but, the Great Recession. So, I will flail, tremble with fear, quake, and sigh with anxiety at the daunting economic outlook for a while. After wards, I will have to lift my head, and march forth on an uncertain journey.

But, if there is anything that I have learned, is that nothing in life is easy. I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth. My parents are not wealthy or well-connected. Nobody has charted my life towards success and happiness. Challenges face us all the time, and it can either make or break a person. I will not be broken.

Let's look at what is recession-proof, and what I don't have qualms with, shall we?
-Alcohol, sales of spirits go up during times of economic distress, but I couldn't help someone get access to liquor knowing that it plays a role in domestic abuse, for the most part. Also, I am not down with substance abuse of any kind.
-Health care, the demand for mental and physical health care goes up during hard times. I know nothing about anatomy or medicine, so that puts me at a severe disadvantage. I am cool with helping others, so let's put that in the "maybe" pile.
-Military. The big one. I could go on and on, so I think I will. Nothing gets recruiting quotas full like a recession. The selling point of any branch of the military is that you'll be set for life, if you hand over yours for a few years. Don't get me wrong, I am not knocking the work that the military does in any way, but my mom has certain opinions that color my sentiments. Back in the day, it was an option shown to delinquents or an obligatory rite as an American. Skip a generation, and the draft is gone. I, like all Americans have seen the evaporation of the presence of the US military stateside, only to saturate the Middle East and Central Asia, and I am dismayed to hear comparisons by older members of my family to Vietnam. I am tired of this comparison because no experience, however similar it may appear to be in the eyes of the observer, is exactly the same. Vietnam is not Afghanistan.
As you can see, I have mixed feelings about the military because it has a dangerous allure. For a person who values her ability not to withhold any thought on my mind, and my ability to travel at my leisure, I could see this as being the most difficult thing to relinquish if I sign on the dotted line.
So, let me lay it out for you like my dad did, awhile ago: The only to be pure is to be dead. That means, in way or another, most Americans, despite their political leanings, work with the military apparatus. My dad, who was a CO during Vietnam, works on thermal imaging that is used in drones, and other machines that drop death from above. My older brother, who gives subscriptions to The Nation to our family members, works in a lab funded by Homeland Security. So, is it crazy to think about 2nd Lt. Helen Fenimore USMC, or Ensign Fenimore?